THRICE.  That's how many cray cray dreams I had last night.  Why, you ask?  Because our dog Hazel had to get up that many times to pee in the middle of the night, and Bobby and I did a start-stop-start-stop-start-stop style of sleeping.  I love that dog, but if there was ever a morning to give her the stink eye, it was this one.

Dream Numero Uno:
There's a house that I have recurring dreams about (pretty much all of my recurring dreams involve houses and rooms) often.  It's a two story house with loads of rooms, but it needs a lot of work.  It weirdly has two kitchens, one on either side of the house, much like a duplex.  Well, my dream last night was that it got renovated!  My mom, in my dream, took me to this house, and showed me that her friends had reworked each of the rooms, and knocked out that second kitchen to make space for an area to entertain guests with a really cool bar and almost like a little bistro setting.  Everything was accented with Talavera tiles and was really shiny, warm, and inviting.  The weirdest part was that one of my old babysitter's brothers was sitting on a bar stool, facing the wall, and had two bobby pins criss-crossed in the back part of his hair.  And then I woke up.

Dream Numero Dos:
It was New Year's Eve.  We were supposed to be going out to dinner and for drinks with friends.  I was having a really hard time figuring out what to wear, so I say..."Take me to Bloom!"  It's my favorite store in Downtown McKinney, and I can always find sumpthin'.  So, even though we were needing to hustle to make it for our reservation time, I go to Bloom and start trying stuff on.  The girls that were working were needing to leave to get their own New Year's on, so they started turning off the lights.  Suddenly, everything was sooooo hard to match.  Things I thought were pale pink and sleeveless turned out to be long sleeved outerwear.  I was grabbing the wrong sizes, because, well, IT WAS DARK!  I didn't want to ask them to turn on the lights because I was trying to be respectful that they wanted to leave, so I just decided on an outfit that was halfway okay and left.  And then I woke up.

Dream Numero Tres:
My brother Joe was playing for the Packers.  Green and Yellow.  Seeing as how in real life he is not the most athletic, I was rightly shocked to see him be put in the game.  All of a sudden, he caught the ball in the end zone, and SIX!  TOUCHDOWN!  And yes...we were watching from a schmancy suite.  I don't know who was with me, but I know that we were all screaming and high-fiving.  Victory!

So, yeah.  Analyze THAT!

So, I had the craziest dream last night!

Two of my most conservative (not politically---just in life choices) friends who are married showed up at our house one night in a turquoise & lime green hooptie, wearing backwards hats and were WASTED.  We're talking bombed so bad they were slurrin' bombed.  Bottles of cheap booze were all in the back seat of said hooptie.  They were loud and obnoxious, like I have NEVER seen them!

They made Bobby and me get into the car and then drove us to an animal shelter where the animals were in tall, pristine glass cages with little cushions...almost like they were go-go dancers.  There were bright colored lights, which would make it SEEM like a party was going on, but we were the only people there.  And then...I woke up.

...okay, not really, but she went to her first college football game.  Natty is short for Natalie, and she is one of Millie's favorite cousins.  You might remember her from here.  This TCU game was special.  It was sweet to see Natty truly enjoy the festivities.  Bounce houses, face painting, hot dogs, running on the football field before the game, meeting the cheerleaders, purple popcorn, high-fiving the team mascot, and being with your buddy...it doesn't get much better than that...am I right?  Or am I RIGHT?!

...but I just can't.  I waited a long, long time for us to get together again after rediscovering you on the internets (remember how I found you on Entertainment Weekly's site?), but you were not at all like you used to be.  Where was your charm?  Did you leave it back in 1993?  Where was the subtle romance and the chemistry?  I felt NOTHING.  You couldn't even keep your facts straight on your story, Shady McShadypants.  (I mean, did you graduate from Harvard FIRST in your class or FOURTH or FIFTH?)

I'll give you one more episode, The Firm, but after that, we are done-zo.  Our next date is this Thursday, and you'd BETTER put out.

Because I am a sick, sick, twisted individual, I asked my family to participate in a strange science experiment today.  At Sunday lunch at my mom's, we all sat staring at the gingerbread house we had created just weeks ago.  We were ALL thinking the same thing.  Now that Christmas was over and done with, just WHAT would become of our tiny mansion?  Would it end up in the trash?  We couldn't donate it to the Samaritan Inn Thrift Store like we do with everything else that becomes too tight/holey/faded or looks like it was worn by the cast of Saved by the Bell. I mean, we can't live in it, we can't wear it, and we can't ingest it at this point, so WHAT ELSE is it good for than an experiment?  It took about 30 seconds of convincing, and then everyone was on board.

Starting today, January 8, 2012, the Meffords (and Nana...my mom) placed our tiny mansion out in nature to see what critters discover it.  Will it last a day, a week, or a month?  Which parts will be eaten first?  (My guess is the awesome landscape job...gee, I wonder who did that part?)  Will it get stolen by the punk teenagers who just moved down the street?  Make your predictions below in the comment box, and I'll be updating my Facebook page daily to keep you in the loop.