Oh, how I hope they never end. At least 5 times a week, Mills treats us to an impromptu dance recital, complete with leotard and ballet slippers. Sometimes, she hums to provide music. Other times, she instructs us to sing. (If anyone ever heard me, I'd die of embarrassment, but I'd do anything for her!)
She's almost 5 years old, and I am starting to get a little sentimental and reminiscent of her baby days. Millie is such a special, magnetic little creature, and while I am so proud of all of her advancements, I want to cling to this spot...right here...where she is still a 4 year old and can dance like the free spirit she is and not even know what embarrassment feels like. I want to savor the way she is so absolutely unaffected by image concerns or what other people want her to be. Millie is who Millie wants to be.
She is a girl who is positively in love with dance and music and swimming and fabrics and the idea of being a vet or doctor and adores smaller children and giving them a slice of her kind heart to help them. She creates names for things that make them even more delightful---her plastic dress-up shoes are her "Smithy Janes", for instance. Not quite Manolos or even really Jeffrey Campbells, especially since the Snow White medallion has fallen off of one of the shoes and she is missing the bows from the other pair, but I think Smithy Janes is quite possibly the coolest name I've ever heard. Millie appreciates offbeat senses of humor and all things pink and swoons over Anthropologie store-bought items like a 30 year old housewife and loves a good Latin beat. She's into fancy cheeses and goes bonkers for sea salt and vinegar chips and really enjoys fine dining and thinks Taylor Swift is a goddess and that is just the way I like my Millie. True to herself.
I'm not sure what will happen down the road. Knowing myself and the control freak that I am, I know I will hover and protect until I can hover and protect no more. I don't want that to become a problem, but what she embodies is so completely precious and I don't want her to become like me...someone who, while projecting this image that I don't care and am so confident about myself and my style and my decisions, really does have a need (sometimes small, sometimes big) to be validated. I know that need is human, but it is also shaped by society, and right now...I'm just going to cling to this spot...right here. I'm going to relish the beauty and freedom that my sweet Millie possesses. I might even try to learn from it.
She's almost 5 years old, and I am starting to get a little sentimental and reminiscent of her baby days. Millie is such a special, magnetic little creature, and while I am so proud of all of her advancements, I want to cling to this spot...right here...where she is still a 4 year old and can dance like the free spirit she is and not even know what embarrassment feels like. I want to savor the way she is so absolutely unaffected by image concerns or what other people want her to be. Millie is who Millie wants to be.
She is a girl who is positively in love with dance and music and swimming and fabrics and the idea of being a vet or doctor and adores smaller children and giving them a slice of her kind heart to help them. She creates names for things that make them even more delightful---her plastic dress-up shoes are her "Smithy Janes", for instance. Not quite Manolos or even really Jeffrey Campbells, especially since the Snow White medallion has fallen off of one of the shoes and she is missing the bows from the other pair, but I think Smithy Janes is quite possibly the coolest name I've ever heard. Millie appreciates offbeat senses of humor and all things pink and swoons over Anthropologie store-bought items like a 30 year old housewife and loves a good Latin beat. She's into fancy cheeses and goes bonkers for sea salt and vinegar chips and really enjoys fine dining and thinks Taylor Swift is a goddess and that is just the way I like my Millie. True to herself.
I'm not sure what will happen down the road. Knowing myself and the control freak that I am, I know I will hover and protect until I can hover and protect no more. I don't want that to become a problem, but what she embodies is so completely precious and I don't want her to become like me...someone who, while projecting this image that I don't care and am so confident about myself and my style and my decisions, really does have a need (sometimes small, sometimes big) to be validated. I know that need is human, but it is also shaped by society, and right now...I'm just going to cling to this spot...right here. I'm going to relish the beauty and freedom that my sweet Millie possesses. I might even try to learn from it.
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Spontaneous Performances
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More or less serving as a thank you note, I thought I would write to you all (especially to my wonderful clients) for being so trusting in front of the camera. It really really REALLY takes a lot for me to trust the person who is taking my picture. You wouldn't think that I would be so uptight or so unnatural. I have a fun personality, am not shy in the least, and don't really get stage fright. I mean, I produced MILLIE...the most performance-minded child I know. But, even if a close friend of mine is taking my picture, I end up all Chandler Bing-y and just goof it all up. Maybe the reason I am so hellbent on doing documentary style photography is because of the way I get nervous when I am being photographed in an obvious way. I would hate for anyone else to ever feel like that. It is a yucky feeling!
Here are some of my favorite ways to avoid making contact with the camera in an honest way. Yeah...I must have control and trust issues. (Pausing to make a therapy appointment.)
We've got the all-time favorite --- the "I'm a sassy 7 year old rockin' out this look, y'all". This one originated when I was showing off my new swim suit in the summer of 1983.
The next is my "up, up and away" look. Lovely pose for my ginormous eyeballs.
Last is the "I just sucked a lemon/Gary Coleman's WhatchutalkinboutWillis + Jackee from 227" face.
HOT, right? More like HOT MESS. So, DO NOT let me be an example. Most of you haven't, thank God...and really, thank YOU. It says a lot that you can trust me in something that can be quite unnerving! I promise to take that trust and do something beautiful with it. Promise.
We've got the all-time favorite --- the "I'm a sassy 7 year old rockin' out this look, y'all". This one originated when I was showing off my new swim suit in the summer of 1983.
The next is my "up, up and away" look. Lovely pose for my ginormous eyeballs.
Last is the "I just sucked a lemon/Gary Coleman's WhatchutalkinboutWillis + Jackee from 227" face.
HOT, right? More like HOT MESS. So, DO NOT let me be an example. Most of you haven't, thank God...and really, thank YOU. It says a lot that you can trust me in something that can be quite unnerving! I promise to take that trust and do something beautiful with it. Promise.
Tracy Konieczny Mikolajchak says:
Kate! You are so Amazing! Such a talented women! Keep Rocking Girl!
(09.12.10 @ 09:11 PM)
Alyssa says:
Girl, you make me LAUGH!! The poses you mention, if done in a group setting, could easily end up on awkwardfamilyphotos.com. :)
(09.10.10 @ 09:27 PM)
Kathryn Krueger says:
Sexy Lady! You look amazeballs and we all lurve it. I am buying you a swim trophy just for that award-winning swim team pose top left. I may also throw in some kiwi-lime lip gloss. ;)
(09.10.10 @ 06:11 PM)
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And THIS is Why I Stay BEHIND the Camera
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A few days ago, my family was en route to celebrate my mom's birthday at Toulouse Cafe in Dallas. Bobby, Mills, Mom, and I were discussing our weekend plans, and Mom told us of the fun stuff her church had planned for this Sunday (yesterday). Out of all of the things Mom listed, Millie was most fixated on the bagpipers coming to play. Though she has heard bagpipe music before, she asked to be refreshed, so we dug through Bobby's iPhone for some Enter the Haggis and, VOILA! Bagpipey-ness.
Interestingly enough, upon hearing the instrument play those notes, I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. I became solemn and had to consciously tell myself to not become sad. The image below is the one that immediately popped into my head. The last time I heard a bagpiper play was at sweet little Carson Richardson's burial service. I was the photographer for all of the events related to Carson's celebration of life, and the moments from those events, especially the burial service, will likely never fade from my mind. There is no way I will ever forget THAT bagpiper on THAT day, and it is what with I will forever associate bagpipe music.
I am easily touched...a sensitive soul...but I cannot recall memories THAT specific having been evoked like my experience with hearing the bagpipe through Bobby's phone. Do YOU have a story about your senses and memories being called to arms? Good, bad, happy, or sad, I'd love to hear them.
Leave a comment below with your story!
Also, if you have a moment, please send the Richardson family good vibes, as they are beginning this school year without their little guy.
Natalie says:
Kate- You just touched my heart again. That day, those photos you did, they are a vivid memory and so clear in my mind. Our family misses him so, but with your wonderful work, we can enjoy the memories whenever we wish....And for my memory, well- Every Rose Has a Thorn would have to cover it! hugs
(08.31.10 @ 09:24 PM)
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Evoked
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A couple of weeks ago, we were privileged enough to get a visit from one of our favorite relatives, Miss Kate. (To anyone who can't handle the duplication of the name Kate, we call her "KateMo" and me "KateMeff". It used to be "Little Kate" and "Aunt Kate", but since she's almost as tall as me, the eleven year old Kate needed an update. And I continue to thank Jesus that no one has ever referred to me as "Big Kate". Hallelujah!)
We don't get to see KateMo very often, since her family (Bobby's sister, bro-in-law, and nephew William) moved to North Carolina several years ago. So, when we can get on her calendar, it is a real treat!
Millie has looked up to Kate since she was a baby, and as Mills strengthens her own pool of interests and her little (BIG) personality, their bond is becoming even stronger. They are both very girly and love fashion, dance, pink, Broadway, and antiquing and having tea parties with their grandmothers. Millie thinks Kate is SO cool, that when she is around her for any given length of time, she actually adopts the sort of "Valley Girl/'tween" accent that Kate has. Bobby and I get a nice little fast-forward to seeing Millie as an eleven year old, which is both enlightening, insightful, and downright terrifying.
One of the things that I love most about KateMo is how she takes care of and takes interest in Millie. Even though Mills is the youngest of all of the cousins, when we spend time with Kate, she makes sure to always include Millie. Kate has a genuine warmth about her that I hope never fades. She is such an ideal role model for my Mills and I really pray that she never is "too cool" for her little cousin. Can't wait to get another visit!
We don't get to see KateMo very often, since her family (Bobby's sister, bro-in-law, and nephew William) moved to North Carolina several years ago. So, when we can get on her calendar, it is a real treat!
Millie has looked up to Kate since she was a baby, and as Mills strengthens her own pool of interests and her little (BIG) personality, their bond is becoming even stronger. They are both very girly and love fashion, dance, pink, Broadway, and antiquing and having tea parties with their grandmothers. Millie thinks Kate is SO cool, that when she is around her for any given length of time, she actually adopts the sort of "Valley Girl/'tween" accent that Kate has. Bobby and I get a nice little fast-forward to seeing Millie as an eleven year old, which is both enlightening, insightful, and downright terrifying.
One of the things that I love most about KateMo is how she takes care of and takes interest in Millie. Even though Mills is the youngest of all of the cousins, when we spend time with Kate, she makes sure to always include Millie. Kate has a genuine warmth about her that I hope never fades. She is such an ideal role model for my Mills and I really pray that she never is "too cool" for her little cousin. Can't wait to get another visit!
Grandma Nan/GaGa says:
What a beautiful picture. Two beautiful and precious little girls -- my granddaughters. How proud I am of them. Kate so sorry this comment is coming late -- the present story of my life but not of my heart. I do hope I can get a print of this. It so deserves a frame! Love GAGA
(08.29.10 @ 07:10 PM)
Grandpa and Grandma says:
Oh my goodness! Love this photo and the love between these two sweethearts! Makes our hearts happy. Love, Grandpa/Pa and Grandma/GranLyn
(08.26.10 @ 05:03 PM)
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Fancy Cousins
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Since I am NOT on vacation and am dealing with a mother workload (of over 16,500+ delightfully yummy images, I might add), I want to take a minute to remember the sound and smell of the ocean, the multitude of popcorn shrimp, the margaritas, the laughter while Millie was playing with her cousins, and her precious 4 year old sandy booty complete with wedgie. These were taken during our 4th of July family trip down to South Padre Island to celebrate Bobby's dad's 70th birthday.
Ahhhhhhhhhhh. Much better. Okay. Back to work!
Ahhhhhhhhhhh. Much better. Okay. Back to work!
Lauren Clay says:
Kate, your Millie is a sweetheart. Such a ham and such a cutie!
(08.20.10 @ 02:23 PM)
Kathryn says:
Soooo cute! She's absolutely adorable!
(08.12.10 @ 11:56 AM)
Jen Guernsey says:
Hey Kate! I'm a friend of Marti's. Love the photos! The clarity, the sharpness, and the brilliant colors are just fantastic. My favorite is the first one, the close-up of your daughter with her face smooshed and those wonderful bracelets. :)
(07.28.10 @ 10:55 PM)
Marti Mefford says:
Kate! Loved all of these. You really captured some precious moments. I love the booty shot and I just adore the pic of Zaya and Millie, two cute, curly headed babies! What a great time!
(07.28.10 @ 10:32 PM)
Kathryn Krueger says:
Millie. Please show me how to make my hair like yours. Let's plan a sleepover. No Bobby's allowed.
(07.27.10 @ 01:54 PM)
brandi Mayberry says:
I don't know how you manage to do it all Kate. Superwoman for sure.
(07.24.10 @ 06:15 PM)
Mark says:
Ha! Looking at these is about as close as I've gotten to a family vacation since 2003. Fun shots, though, Kate! I'm not sure if I'm more inspired to take better family photos or to go away. ;)
(07.20.10 @ 09:56 PM)
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Our Summer Vacation
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This post made me cry. And I don't even have children. Beautifully written Kate, and such honest, pure, raw sentiment. Your mother's love pours right off of this page.
(09.25.10 @ 12:28 PM)Kate, I know just how you feel about wanting to cling to this age. When my now seven year old Kenzie turned five I had such a hard time thinking that I only had three more of that specific block of time before she was a woman. And how could that be possible! She was just a baby a short time ago! And now my four year old Daphne will be turning five soon and I'm beside myself trying to capture it all. Video and images will help to preserve your memories, but there is nothing like this type of journaling along side to truly capture the essence of these moments. You remind us all to slow down enough to notice and appreciate and express with the written word all the little 'Smithy Jane' moments of our children. You are a great teacher of 'clinging to a moment' with your incredible images and especially the way you capture your daughter with words. She will be forever grateful.
(09.23.10 @ 08:22 AM)She is so precious and lively with so much personality - just like her mom! I love her pictures!
(09.17.10 @ 04:02 PM)Ya know, sometimes I come on here and don't really know what to say, because your photos and blog entries go beyond simple "here is a pic of someone" and really dig into the life of the person in the images. And how do you compliment that? "Nice life"? Lol! I guess what I'm trying to say is that you capture so much more in your photos and posts than simple images. There is a real slice of life here that really grabs me each time.
(09.15.10 @ 10:54 AM)She is the most vivid expression of my love for you!
(09.14.10 @ 03:33 PM)Kate,
(09.14.10 @ 12:04 PM)Millie is who she is because of you.....she has had HER camera on since the day she came into this world. You and Bobby have lead Millie to the "Smithy Janes" wonderment of childhood, and I have no doubt whatsoever that your immense love for her will be a true source of compassion and whimsy throughout her life. What a wonderful magical time it is....indeed!
You're a book I want to read. Your little princess is gorgeous! I love these shots. She'll love to read this one day (sweet 16 perhaps?) and I'm sure she'll ball like we all did as we read this :). Just lovely.
(09.12.10 @ 09:34 PM)Kate, you did a beautiful job of putting words around what I think is in every woman's heart. Oh how we want to be free - free of judgments, of weighty expectations, of embarrassments, of letting others down, etc. We want to somehow get back to that stage that Millie is in right now. So I love what you captured here, and I'm proud of you for being brave enough to put it into words and for "hovering" so that Millie can enjoy it for as long as possible.
(09.12.10 @ 06:45 PM)